This last week has been probably the hardest of my life. I didn't anticipate the psychological blow that it would have on me. Physically, the pain has been more intense than I have ever felt and the slow loss of function from my lower body has dealt a blow that has struck fear into my mind multiple times. Although I feel the paralysis to some extent will be temporary it is something I am not looking forward to working through.
We are working through the pain with some new pain medications, hoping this will allow me to maintain some endurance to be able to get out of bed and into a wheelchair. It will be nice to not feel bed ridden.
How will I make it through the rest of this I have no idea. And at times I feel like I don't want to know. It causes me to think too much, to try and think how I'm going to fix it when I don't know how to fix it. Sometimes I just need to take it one hour at a time. I feel this is the best way to handle it for me for now. It's probably the best way to handle many difficult challenges in life, 10 minutes at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.
The one thing I do know is the only way I have made it through this week is through your prayers and thoughts. The strength that has given me has been huge. The Lord is there he has not left me alone. In my darkest hours He's the only one who could be with me and truly understand me. Despite all the clouds and the darkness around, he has helped me find the light. I am so grateful to know that I can call on him at any time and receive his comfort and peace. There is a plan in all of this, one will lead us to find true happiness and joy, one that will give us understanding in the end. This will undoubtedly be the greatest learning moment in my life. For this I will be eternally grateful.
Once again Amy Hirschi Buckner and I thank you for your support and your love as we could not do it without you.